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Monday, February 23, 2009

Stupid Mode

you called yesterday to basically say that you care for me but that you're just not in love...immediately, I pretended to be feeling similarly...and led you to believe I was O.K. to just walk away from the one thing that's unyielding and sacred to me...

One of my favorite song ever...everytime I listen to this, it just brings back all those times when I was a bit uhmm, stupid ( that's a serious realization albeit it came only quite recently, hehehehe )...

And yeah, right now, I'm genuinely addicted to it...again. Dang!

well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it...and I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you...but in reality I'm slowly losing my mind underneath the disguise of a smile...gradually, I'm dying inside...friends ask me how I feel, and I lie convincingly, 'cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night, and turn down all the lights...and then I break down and cry...

It just amuses me how I could let some things that did hurt me previously happen to me again. Like, listening to a song that perpetually pricks and squeezes my being. Shoots! It's getting cyclical...

so what do you do when somebody you're so devoted to suddenly just stops loving you?...and it seems they haven't got a clue of the pain that rejection is putting you you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive?" you lash out and say, "How dare you leave this way?" you hold on in vain as they just slip away?..

But then again, we all are stubborn sometimes...we all are stupid sometimes...until we eventually decide that it's time to get on our feet, leave the easy chair and scoop a breath of fresh air.

Fact is, it may not happen soon enough. But it surely will...or we just totally give in.


  1. at least ako ang tula ko ay hango sa kawalan. e ikaw tsong? ang post mo ngayon galing pa sa kailaliman ng puso mo. minsan masarap din mag take ng risk. isipin mo din ang sarili mo. di ka na masaya.

  2. wow mare, *emo* mode ka ba ngayon? anong meron? nag-valentines lang nagkaganyan na post mo? ahihihi.. kidding aside, nakakarelate naman ako jan sa song.. ganun nga tayo talaga.. kinukubli ang tunay na nararamdaman..

  3. @ dencios,

    uy! eh, ang totoo, kanta nya yan sa akin. nakakarelate lang kase ako sa kanya kaya gusto ko rin yung song. dont wori, this time, iisipin ko naman sarili ko...

    @ mareng madz,

    hay naku mare! maraeng complicacion! sa baga, sa atay, sa bituka at lalong lalo na ciempre, sa heart...ganun!

  4. bakala isama mo ako sa Lu Union pag visit mo ha LOL

    post pa ako ng maraming destination sa gawi natin next time.. :)

    Make or Break

  5. may ganun mare? d bale, i'm sure you'll get over it.. at magtake ka ng heartvit para healthy ang heart, hihihi :D

  6. at one point in our lives, we could really be stupid and stubborn.but that's human nature and it's okay.

    waaaahhh..favorite ko rin to.galing ng Bone thugs and Harmony dito. :p

  7. @ pehpot,

    uu nga! kakarayin kita. pero wag mo 'kong pagalagain ng bata ha! bka mapagkamalan akong single mother! wahahahahaha!

    @ mareng madz,

    naman! isama na rin ang combantrin kontra bulate! hihihihi

    @ flamindevil,

    next to "crossroads", ito na ang pinakagusto kong song ng Bone Thugs...galeng ng collaboration nila ni Mariah.

  8. haha.. hindi ka pa naman losyangers no.. wis ka mapagkakamalan LOL

    advisory lang:

    They just made an upgrade on Blogger Following, Google Friends Connect are now being integrated to it. I have been using both features. To prevent any public humiliation on the users, Google set the settings of Blogger following to private. If you have noticed that I am not following you, I already fixed the followers issue.

    I hope that it will not affect our blogging relationship.
    Have a nice day!

    Make or Break

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